The question for men in the modern era of relationships is: what’s your status?
I have a large plaque on the wall in my home. It’s relationship advice in the form of an itemized list. Written in various colors and fonts, the plaque reads:
“Love—always and forever. Kiss, cuddle, hold hands. Put each other first. Never stop dating. Dream together. Smile, giggle, and flirt. Forgive quickly. Listen—really listen. Believe in each other. Celebrate special days. Love with your whole heart.”
Women become verklempt at these romantic ideas, them being the tender and securing things they want from men relationally. Yet, what do all of these advisory recommendations have in common?
They’re all complaints women have of men—are all indictments of men.
Who doesn’t “kiss, cuddle, and hold hands” enough, or “anymore?” Who doesn’t “put the other first?” Who “stops dating” and neglects romance? Who doesn’t “listen—really listen?” Who doesn’t “celebrate the special days?” Actually, who can’t even remember the “special days?”
Men—that’s who! Jerks.
So then, reading the ideas from wall-mounted décor, women, if only subconsciously, are holding men responsible for both a relationship’s difficulties and their dissatisfaction. This, of course, identifies men’s status in modern relationships, which is: men are the problem.
There are many reasons relationships fail. The role men play in those failures is clear—the reasons hanging in perpetual repose on the den wall. One reason that is never addressed and discussed, however, is the role women play in those failures. Yet for the benefit of all concerned, it should be.
And now it is: New Rules: Relationship Logic for the Darkside.