Accepting a Grammy Award for Song of the Year, “Wildflower,” songstress Billie Eilish declared, “No one is illegal on stolen land.” British colonists started settling the North American continent and ultimately stole the entire American land mass from its rightful owners: the Indian natives. This is Eilish’s complaint and charge. Even if it were true, human beings have been conquering and occupying lands all over planet earth since the beginning of time. According to Eilish, white, Christian colonists, those privileged religious bastards, are the only group to steal their land … roughly 425 years ago, no less.
Four-and-a-quarter centuries later, perhaps we can consider the matter resolved. Pretty sure the courts would.
A little perspective: post-continental “theft,” America became the most powerful nation on earth, all the inventions and industrialization and incredible progress for humanity. Pre-theft, and after all the centuries of Native American ownership, what did the Indians do with their talents and this great continental resource? Teepees? Peace pipes?
Per Dances With Wolves, Indians were fascinated by simple sugar and a coffee grinder.
So then, the Indians should thank us for showing them how it is done and for giving them a better future than they would have ever otherwise known. Given her professional success and subsequent bank account, and certainly her deluxe accommodations, Eilish should be thankful, too.
From all those who toiled, trailblazed, fought, and died to make her homeland experience so prosperous, luxurious, and salubrious: you’re welcome.
I know, I know. Who cares about Billie Eilish. Agreed. However, her remarks are useful. She lives in a $3-million-dollar mansion in Los Angeles, California. After her Grammy remarks, the Native American Tongva Tribe, members of a Los Angeles Basin crowd of indigenous inhabitants known as the “First Angelenos,” confirmed that Eilish’s $3-million-dollar home does indeed sit on the tribe’s “ancestral land,” long known as Gabrieleno Tongva territory.
Okay. So the right thing to do, if one genuinely feels the land on which they live is stolen, is to return the land to its rightful owners. Hey, you confessed publicly that the land doesn’t belong to you. So then, give it back. Of course, we know Eilish has no intention of returning the land, and never did. How do we know? Well, just pay attention. For all the self-serving wheedling about living on stolen native land, watch the tribe never-ever get their land and territory back.
Watch everything remain exactly as it is.
So obviously, this whole “stolen land” bit from Eilish was a load of meaningless BS. It goes nowhere, affects nothing, changes nothing. So then, why would she say it?
Here is where her remarks are useful …
As with all liberals, Eilish couldn’t care less about Native Americans or their stolen land, either one. She probably doesn’t even know a single Native American, other than Pocahontas, maybe, Senator Elizabeth Warren—and Warren is only between 1/64th and 1/1,024th Native American. It is annoying that liberals so easily get away with pretending that they do care. They don’t care about Indians or stolen native land, any more than they care about African Americans, or women, or gay and trans people, or children, or anything or anyone else they claim to care about and champion. They care about the advancement of Liberalism, their religion. If you don’t believe that, then talk to conservative/republican blacks, women, gay and trans people, and children who survive the womb—those obnoxious little overachievers!
Challenge liberal orthodoxy, protections end and all bets are off.
Nevertheless, liberals only champion all these causes because it provides them something they desperately crave, and in fact intensely need. More on that in a second. In this case, Eilish has zero intentions of giving her stolen land back to the natives. And if she isn’t prepared to return her little slice of stolen real estate heaven, then what the hell is she talking about here: “No one is illegal on stolen land?” Every American but her needs to give their slice of real estate heaven back to the victims? Is that what Eilish is saying?
No, it isn’t what she is saying at all. Because she doesn’t care a wit about any of it—about the land, who rightfully owns it, who got cheated, the people who were cheated, the oppressive cheaters, if the land was actually stolen, if it is returned, if it isn’t returned, if justice is served or disserved. Eilish hasn’t thought about any of it for a single, solitary second. Hence, her remarks are thoughtless, careless, empty rhetoric that must be serving another purpose.
To that, ask yourself: why would someone step up to a microphone in a room full of people, and in front of an international audience watching via television, and champion something (a) so obviously settled and irrevocable, and (b) that they don’t give a fiddler’s f— about in the first place?
Stolen land?
Giving it all back to the natives?
Kicking 342 million American thieves into the streets and off the continent?
The whole thing is obviously absurd, is never-ever going to happen.
So again, why say it? Why make such an idle statement?
There can be only one reason, and it’s rather evident: Eilish is a gladhander trolling for shallow praise and adulation, for which she has a powerful addiction, too.
Some will say Eilish is ignorant of American history, a product of the modern American education system that doesn’t teach it properly, or at all. Perhaps this is true, but she certainly knows that America has been an established nation for 250 years, and that ceding the entire continent back to Native Americans is never going to happen. Hence, all this is being said and done for shallow praise, adulation, and admiration, which is the reason celebrity liberals like Eilish do anything.
No group of human beings is more insecure and dependent on praise from other human beings than celebrities, specifically celebrity liberals. These people would do anything to get others to like them. Given their prominence and fans, saying celebrities are insecure and praise reliant sounds counterintuitive. But just look at them: the addictions and repeated rehab stints, the psychotherapy, the self-loathing, the self-destruction, the inexplicable suicide attempts and successes. This isn’t a demographic brimming with self-confidence and self-assurance, obviously. Eilish herself confessed to a pornography addiction, which she began watching at 11-years-old. She said the addiction “destroyed her brain,” too.
Oh, sure. Let’s all take property rights guidance from a porn addict with a destroyed brain. Makes total sense. I’m in. Who’s with me? Doesn’t the fact she thinks she is qualified to provide the guidance indicate her brain is truly broken?
The point is these celebrity liberals aren’t what they seem to be, and their lives prove it. Their multiple relationships and marriages don’t last; their families fall apart. Their children become psychotic, develop addictions, too, like porn for example. They require life-long therapy, as well, which seems a waste given they still murder their parents [Rob and Michele Reiner] in the family home anyway. Celebrity liberals are on the wagon, then off the wagon, then on the wagon, again—all the while they are on late night television telling the public how wonderful their lives have become post-treatment, and how desperately they needed it to regain focus and purpose, and all that other public relations bullshit.
BS because, shortly thereafter they are found wasted again in a Belair Hotel bungalow and hospitalized for “acute appendicitis” or a “panic attack,” or some other such public relations nonsense. Because, next, we see them in court in orange jumpsuits or street clothes, answering for illegal narcotics and hookers—not a single surgical scar or Xanax prescription anywhere in sight.
These so-called “celebrity elite,” why, they are more f’ed up than Hogan’s goat. Human disasters, there isn’t anything “elite” about them at all. And the only thing that sustains their senses of self-worth and -confidence is ordinary people applauding them and reminding them how awesome they are, and how valuable they are to society and the world. Given the merry-go-round rehab stints, and the suicide attempts and successes, the booze and drugs certainly aren’t providing the self-worth and self-confidence. It is the opposite of what people think about these celebrated individuals, who are truly insecure and pathetic human beings by and large, but who are propped up as otherwise by an industry that benefits from the appearance and subsequent fraud.
In other words, this “celebrity elite” business is yet another liberal establishment con.
I have a friend; he is a musician in a rock band. Like most “rocker” dudes, he isn’t much to look at. His childhood t-shirts are all stained with pork chop grease at the neck; I think the reader knows why. His parents literally tried everything to get other kids to play with their son, who is no Chris Helmsworth, and dorky. Anyway, I went to one of my friend’s shows in a local club and was amazed at how many young women were pawing at him, and at how many dudes wanted to have a beer and hangout with him after the set. If my friend was just Eric, pre-rocker Eric, and not in a band, girls would throw rocks at his ugly ass and dudes would harass him. Because, well, he is a skinny, dorky looking dude, and because that is exactly what they all did prior—before his rocker status, that is.
Pick up a guitar, however, and it’s obviously a whole new life.
This is precisely what happens to these liberal celebrity sorts. Normally, in their pre-fame state, people ignore them; they are members of the vast ignored, neglected, and underappreciated. They star in a film role or write a hit song, or whatever, and suddenly they are the cat’s pajamas, the Belles of the Celebrity Ball—when just yesterday chicks were throwing rocks at them and dudes were giving them wedgies. Getting the attention they have always desired and craved but never had, well, they like that very much. Very much. The praise and adulation not only become a drug, but an addiction. Everyone now fawning over them, they begin to see themselves as experts on every issue, their insights and opinions more astute and valuable than all others. All validated and encouraged, of course, by this new host of faithful human sycophants.
And this, folks, is precisely why these liberal celebrities can stride haughtily to the public microphone with their idle bullshit: “No one is illegal on stolen land.”
It’s like a shot of heroine, only better. And so much cheaper.
Of course, then the people not so inspired by these liberal celebrities, they say: “Oh really genius. If we’re all on stolen land, so are you. So why don’t you give your $3-million-dollar mansion back to the Tongva Tribe?” Suddenly, these liberal celebrities look again like that ordinary rock and harassment target that they were pre-fame—which they always were, incidentally, but that the fame and their new drug and addiction have helped them unremember.
I wondered for a long time why celebrities had to become liberals, why the liberal mindset was the predominant mindset among the celebrity class. Then I realized it is because fame makes people arrogant, haughty, self-important assholes, which, not so coincidentally, are the defining characteristics of liberals. So, it all made sense, finally. Birds of a feather preferring to flock together, and all.
These familiar birds say stupid stuff, too, like: “I’m fighting for people who don’t have a voice!” Gee, how noble and selfless of them. Notice how these nameless and faceless “voiceless” never asked for their protection or help, but how these brave celebrity liberals compassionately and self-sacrificially, and don’t forget cheaply and self-servingly, step into the breach anyway. They want everyone to think they are virtuous humanitarians, when in reality they are just chasing a cheap, selfish, affirming fix of praise and adulation: “Nobody is illegal on stolen land.” The remark is the needle entering the nearly destroyed vein among the numerous track marks. The brainless crowd’s roar is the syringe plunger being depressed. Then, eyes rolling back in narcotic bliss …
Ahhh. Feels sooo good.
Celebrity liberals aren’t thinking about the numbskullery of what they are saying, either. These people are dope sick. Bangin’ some straight P&A to stop the withdrawal itching and voices, they are reinforcing their Master of the Universe status, too. What is coming out of their mouths? The public statements they are making? They couldn’t care less. In their arrogance, they think ordinary people are so stupid, so overwhelmed with their celebrity supremacy and greatness, that they can say anything they want. Because that is how it is in the club, after the show—the pawing, the hanging out.
Indeed, it’s all narcotic bliss, until the smart people show up. Those insubordinate bastards.
People used to admire celebrities. They had no problem pedestalizing celebrities, because celebrities used to earn it. Old school celebrities understood their fame, seemed to understand they were just another spoke in the humankind wheel like everyone else. Sure, they had privileges. They had problems, too. Yet they didn’t go around pretending to be people they were not and saying mindless things for cheap praise and adulation. Dean Martin was a drunk. He brought his cocktail and cigarette on stage and was who he was, no apologies or pretense. People respected the authenticity, that Martin was Martin, real, no disguises, no smarter- and better-than-you airs.
Not like today, when a 24-year-old, broken-brained, porn–addicted singer/songwriter with chartreuse hair wants to lecture everyone wrongly on American history and property rights law, and then indicts herself in the process.
The truth is all this celebrity business shouldn’t be a thing in the first place. Every human being is getting up in the morning, taking a big country dump, and putting their pants on one leg at a time. The ideas that some are doing it less odiferously and with more aplomb is utter nonsense. Certainly, no society of people should allow television/media to sell them insecure junkies and loser people as celebrities. Because, well, propping these liberal losers, these P&A bangers, up as society’s very best is an indictment of society itself.
It used to be hard to become a celebrity, requiring some sort of significant accomplishment to be recognized and celebrated. Now everyone with a cellphone and social media page believes they are one. Thus, as a society, we should be ever more careful and discriminating about who we allow to define us.
Else, the world will think we’re all land thieves and self-absorbed liberal space cadets.
©JMW 2026/2
All Rights Reserved
John Mark Warren 