I Wouldn’t Make A Very Good Pastor

Pastor Joel Osteen of Houston’s Lakewood Church says good people have to, like eagles, gain altitude and soar above the riff-raff.  Admirably, Joel follows his own advice.  Me?  Well, like sticking a red-hot poker up my ass, criticism from the riff-raff clips my wings.  My ass on fire, I’m ready to descend and engage.

For example, with an epic flood occurring in Houston, were news agencies to ask me, “Pastor Warren, not opening your church to displaced flood victims.  How do you respond to criticisms?”

My answer:  Well, like I said in my social media post, the church was inaccessible for severe flooding, which in case you haven’t noticed is catastrophic—historic.  Not to mention, the church itself is flooded—here’s the pictures.  Thereto, my personal neighborhood is flooded.  Rescue teams are there evacuating families and pets.  Nevertheless, we sheltered five thousand people in 2001, held a benefit concert for flooding victims in 2016.  We’ve provided telephone numbers and addresses to area shelters while, to make accommodations, we solve our own problems.  The fact is we’ve never closed our doors. We will continue to be a distribution center for those in need, as always, and will be prepared to shelter people once the city and county shelters reach capacity.  As always, we will be a value to the community in the aftermath of this storm in helping our fellow citizens rebuild their lives.

And right there is where a better man like Joel Osteen would leave it.  And the previous being mostly his comments, he actually did leave it there.  Not me.  A less-better man with his ass on fire and ready to engage, I would continue …

… Now, as for those critics?  They can stick their head up their ass.  The truth is they’re probably a bunch of liberals who do nothing but criticize, accuse, and complain anyway.  They’re people who pretend to care about others, but who really care about themselves and their image.  What they really value is the appearance of caring, as opposed to myself, our church members, and conservative people around our great community and country who actually prove they care every day, and in situations like this.  So, good luck to the critics—assholes.  My fervent hope is that God rewards them handsomely according to their deeds.

And, able to rise above the riff-raff and to forgo such an addendum is why Joel’s a better man than me.

I wouldn’t make a very good pastor.

And in view of the aforementioned circumstances—historic flooding, inaccessibility, flooded church, flooded personal neighborhood, and so on, have a gander at what these phony liberal critics say and imply via Twitter:

  • “You know who hasn’t opened his enormous, tax-exempt mega-church as a shelter? Joel Osteen.  About all those tax-free millions, Joel…  You’re an unimaginable bastard and a hell-bound grifter.  And deep down, you know it. You. Know. It.”
  • “Jesus would open his church to the suffering to give them shelter from the storm. Read Matthew 5-7 till it makes sense to you.”
  • “Dude, open up your church, and open up your home. Come on, man…”
  • “You know what may be more effective than prayers? Use of your building or money.”
  • “When Joel Osteen has a gigantic church and 10 mil home in Houston but is only offering prayers to ppl affected.”
  • “Why don’t you do something besides pray for the flood victims? You have tremendous resources.”


Always accusing and blaming.

Always pointing their fingers yet doing nothing.

Always expecting someone else to take care of them and to solve their problems.

Always jealous.

Always uninformed.

Always complaining.

Always entitled to other people’s money and resources.

Always miserable.

Liberals.  Forever the riff-raff good people must rise above.

Like I said—my ass smoldering and wings clipped, I wouldn’t make a very good pastor.

Author: JMW


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